Behind the First Avenger
by thebowandthebook
Summary: Elizabeth Barnes's idyllic life dissolves when the second World War breaks out across Europe. As those she loves are called into service, Eliza remains on the home front awaiting the day for her soldiers to come home. Recovering from a devastating tragedy, Eliza forms a new life accepting that her soldiers will never return. Book One in the Beneath the Heroes Quintet
1. The Beginning of the End

**July 12th, 1943: Eliza **

"What happened to you?" Eliza Barnes stares at her husband in dismay as Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers enter the small apartment in North Brooklyn. Identifying a bruise forming on Steve's face, she wrinkles her brow and sets the wooden spoon on the edge of the stove. "Let me get some ice for you."

"Nothing."

"Doesn't look like nothing to me. What alley was it today, Bucky?"  
"Found him outside the theater," Bucky responds hanging his officer's hat on the small rack near the door.

"The guy was making fun of the troops." Steve wheezes.

"And it was your personal duty to defend them?"

"Actually, yes, it was."

"Here." Eliza hands a chunk of ice wrapped in a towel to Steve. "Buck, go get cleaned up. If we are going to make it to the expo on time, you two need to eat." Untying her apron, she hangs it over the back of the chair and disappears into the one lone bedroom. Bucky dishes up two bowls of stew for the pair, his eyes scanning his apartment, engraving the picture into his mind.

"I'm really going to miss this," he says as he sits down at the table, handing one bowl of stew to Steve who immediately takes a bite of the filling broth.

"Eliza's cooking? Yeah, me too." Steve takes another bite of stew.

"Come by and keep her company, Steve. Take her to the pictures, out for ice cream, and make her get out of the house." Bucky orders. "Just look out for her."

"Ice cream and the movies." Steve nods sarcastically. "Got it."

"Don't bother, if you're going to be a dead rat."

Eliza comes into the kitchen again, a light layer of makeup on her face. "I'll meet you boys at the expo. Don't be late."

"We won't." Bucky smiles up at her and kisses her hand. Letting herself out the front door, she smiles back at the two.  
-

"Hey, Bucky!" Eliza calls over to Bucky, from across the square. "We're going to miss it!"

"We're coming," he yells back. Around them the crowd ebbs and flows, the mass of people never moving in the same direction. Dodging to the side here, and the other side there, Bucky and Steve reach the girls in a manner of seconds.

"Steve, this is Charlotte. Charlotte, Steve." Bucky hastily makes introductions before dragging his giggling wife alongside him. Making a quick stop at the popcorn cart, the group rushes across the Modern Marvel Pavilion to get front row views of the Stark presentation. As the music starts, Eliza clasps her hand together.

On the stage a group of showgirls enter, strutting to stand in front of a red car. Accompanied by a jaunty fanfare, one of the girls introduces the honored guest of the evening.

As his name is called, a dapper man sidles onto the stage, grinning cheekily at the audience as he swings one of the showgirls in for a kiss. Wiping his mouth with a handkerchief, Howard Stark plunges into his presentation. "Ladies and Gentlemen, what if I told you that in just a few short years, your automobile won't even have to touch the ground at all."

On cue, the showgirls strut away from the red car, each prancing away with a tire in their hands. "Yes. Thank you, Mandy." Howard Stark steps to the side of the car.

Laying a hand on the podium next to him, he faces the audience. "With Stark Robotic Reversion technology, you'll be able to do just that." He slides a lever on the podium upwards and with a loud hum, the car gently rises off the ground. It rises slowly, first a few inches, then a few more, until it is over a foot above the platform.

"Holy cow." Bucky breathes. The amazement in his eyes is mirrored in Eliza's own.

With a shuttering groan, the repulsers begin to emit sparks. Moments later the repulsors cut out and the car clatters to the ground, sparks spinning across the stage. Startled, Howard and the audience flinch back.

Howard recovers quickly and grins out at the audience. "Well I did say a few years, didn't I?" He asks, leaning against the podium.

Eliza applauds, her body pressed against her husband. Feeling Bucky shift, she traces her gaze to see the empty spot where Steve was standing.

"I'll be right back."

Eliza nods, her motherly instinct triggered at Steve's disappearance. Reminding herself that Steve is old enough to be out of her sight she links arms with Charlotte.

"That was awesome!" She gushes. "Do you really think it'll ever work?"

Charlotte sniffs. "You won't find me in one of them."

"Come on Lottie, when Bucky gets back we'll fly around the city on one of those. Think about it, it'll be amazing."

"You two were made for each other. What's with the kid? I thought Buck was bringing one of his soldier friends."

"Steve's a great guy. Give him a chance, Lottie, he'll surprise you."

"Sorry, I don't date guys shorter than me." Eliza frowns as they stop by a pillar opposite to a recruiting center.

"Is he trying to enlist?"

"For the fourth time, I believe."

"Poor kid. Where we going to dance?"

"Not sure, Bucky wanted to surprise us." Eliza watches as the two men argue, replaying a scene that had been repeated far too often. "They've argued enough for Bucky's last night home," she mutters. "Sarge! Are we going dancin'?"

"You bet!"

Bucky gives Steve a hug before jaunting back towards them. "You girls ready?" Slinging his arm around her, they head off.

"Can't babysit the punk forever."

"I guess you're right." Eliza concedes.

"Aren't I always?"

"Just keeping thinking that."

As the night comes to a close, Eliza and Bucky return to their small apartment. Flipping on the lights, Bucky settles down on the sofa. "That last song was a winner."

"A dance to remember." Eliza settles next to her husband, a piece of bread and margarine in her hands.

"Ahh." Bucky opens his mouth for a bite, crumbs dropping onto his uniform. Eliza brushes them away gently. She rests her hand on his chest and drops her head to his shoulder.

"Bucky, I have something to tell you." Her voice is soft, almost hesitant.

Bucky cups her hand in his, closing his eyes as he leans against her. "What is it, darling?"

"I wanted to tell you earlier, but it just didn't seem like the right time."

"What's up?" He turns his face down at her.

Eliza bites her lip. "I'm pregnant."

A grin splits Bucky's face in half. "Holy cow. That's amazing." He springs up, dragging her behind him. "I'm going to be a father!"

Eliza smiles, barely masking the worried expression that had lingered on her brow, as he spins her around. Bucky slows and pulls her close. "I'll be fine, Elizabeth Barnes. I'll be back in time to teach that little boy how to hit a home run."

"Little boy? It might be a girl." Eliza protests.

"It's going to be a boy, I bet you a dollar."

"Bucky! Don't bet on our child!"

His dimples appear as he hums the last song of the night under his breath. "I love you, Eliza."

"I love you too, James Barnes."


	2. Another Goodbye

Eliza knocks on the rickety door of Steve's apartment the next morning. Trying the handle and finding it locked, she bends over and kicks aside the cinder block hiding a spare key. Entering the one-roomed home, she looks around sadly. "Poor kid," she says as she begins collecting the few dishes littered around the room. As she cleans the dishes, she begins humming, thinking of Bucky. She'd look out for Steve for him, and hopefully try to dissuade Steve from leaving home. Clearing off the rough table she straightens a stack of papers, her eye catching an enlistment form. "New Haven, eh? Steve—" she breaks off as she sees a signature at the bottom of the page. "No. Oh my—no. Not Steve." She sinks down onto the chair, biting back angry tears.

A minute later a key turns in the lock and Steve pushes his front door open. "Eliza, what are you doing here?" He asks congenially.

"Steven Grant Rogers, you want to tell me what this is about?" Eliza snaps, her voice hurdling over her raw vocal cords.

"What?"

"These forms." Eliza holds up the papers. "First Bucky left, now you."

"I told you I wouldn't stop trying to join up," Steve says, crossing his arms.

"You can't go," Eliza says decisively, her own arms folded across her chest.

"It's done, Eliza."

"What idiot signed off on your papers?" She asks, not waiting for an answer. "You can't join the army."

"And why not?"

"You're too sick." Eliza slams the paper down, tears pouring out of her eyes. "I can't lose you too."

"Eliza, I have to do this. I thought you supported my trying."

"Only when I knew you weren't actually going to be accepted."

Steve grows red and clenches his fists. "I can't stay at home while others die in my place." He sucks in a lungful of air, only to begin coughing. Eliza rises, swiveling to fill a glass of water from the facet. Steve's cheeks blossom into shades of violet as he attempts to regulate the hacking fit. Eliza presses the water into his hands and watches through steely eyes as Steve straightens himself. When his breathing normalizes, she shakes her head.

"You're just going to end up dead yourself," Eliza says, pushing past him and out of the apartment.

Steve stands on the walkway outside of Eliza and Bucky's apartment. Shifting from side to side he raises his fist and knocks again on the door. "Eliza, my train leaves in half an hour. Let me in, please," he calls when Eliza doesn't respond to his knocks.

Thirty seconds tick past before the latch is released and Eliza steps backward to let Steve into the humid apartment. Her red-rimmed eyes are dry and a worried crease in her brow has replaced the angry scowl. "Steve—" she begins.

"I'm sorry, Eliza," he says. "I'm sorry I can't watch out for you. But—"

"I know." Eliza cuts him off. "Here take these." She hands him two books. "You borrow them often enough."

The books are worn, spines cracking from use. Steve runs a finger over the titles and smiles at Eliza. "Thank you."

Her eyes soften, and she pulls him in for a hug. Her arms encircle his fragile frame as if she was embracing a child. They separate, her blinking back the returning tears, him fidgeting, neither wanting him to walk away. The clock in the apartment chimes the hour and Eliza drags her fingers across her eyes, clearing away the tears.

"If you're still stateside come visit me when the baby is born." She says, instinctively laying her hands over her stomach.

"The baby?" Steve asks, bewilderment flooding his face.

"The baby." Eliza nods to the door. "You better go before you miss your train. Be safe, Steve."

"Yes, ma'am." He salutes, his scrawny arm shaking in the solemn position.

Dear Bucky,

I miss you. It's been a whole two days since you left and I cannot express how much I miss you. I'm certain you won't get this letter for weeks, but I'm writing it anyway.

I thought I was lucky not getting nauseous and sick while being pregnant, but I'm paying for the presumption that I wouldn't get sick. The day after you left I could barely get out of bed I felt so bad. Your mom has been amazing, she brought me soup and checked in on my every few hours during the day.

I know you said I should tell my parents about the baby, but I really don't want to. Not yet anyway. They'll find out eventually, but telling my mom involves going by the house; because if I don't tell her in person, well, she's particular. I'll tell her on her next visit, which since she visited the day before you left is still days away. Eleven amazing days without her hovering over me.

I know you're laughing. You think it's funny that she is so caught up in every single aspect of my life. At least during her biweekly visits. I, however, can't escape to your parent's apartment every time she starts annoying me, like you do. Well, that's one perk of being shipped abroad, you don't have to worry about those visits. Just pray for me as I suffer through all these visits solo. Maybe I can bribe Nancy to stop in during her visit.

I've been thinking about names. How about if it is a boy naming him after his father? Have I told you how much I love the name James? We could call him Jamie or JB or even Junior. For a girl, I really liked Bonnie. Your mom suggested Carol or Louise. You should ask the men in your company what they think and get back to me. I value your opinion very highly concerning this matter.

I want to write more and continue having conversations with you in my head, but I'm feeling sick again so I'll sign off for now. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Ruth says I won't be sick for too many more weeks, and I'm holding her to that.

Love,

Eliza


End file.
